1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
如果你觉得你自己胖，你很有可能真的胖，不用跟我们确认了。
2.Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
学会使用马桶，如果马桶盖翻起来了就把它翻下来。
3.Don't cut your hair. Ever.
不要减你的头发，永远不要。
4. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
我们并不是无时无刻地在想你们，你得适应这个。
5.Get rid of your cat.
搞定你的猫。
6.Sunday = Sports.
星期日是运动日。
7.Anything you wear is fine. Really.
你穿什么都还行，真的。
8.Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their breasts stared at.
穿Wonder bra（一个著名的内衣品牌，号称能让胸部变大）和低胸装的女人没有权利抱怨别人盯着她们的胸部看。
9.You have too many shoes.
你的鞋子太多了！
10.Crying is blackmail.
哭泣是一种勒索行为。
11.Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
如果你想要就说嘛，你不说只是暗示我怎么知道你想要呢？
12.Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
在日历上标出所有的纪念日。
13.Yes, urinating standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
没错，站着小便比近距离射程的小便难多了，所以我们有时候难免会失误。
14.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
“是”和“不是”都是完美的可以接受的答案。
15.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
持续了17个月的头疼当然是一个问题，看医生去吧。
16.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
别说谎。我们宁可失败也不愿意被骗。
17.Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
我们6个月或者8个月前说的话是不能在争论时成为证据的。
18.If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
如果你的穿戴不能像那些穿“维多利亚的秘密”的姑娘们一样，就不要指望我们的举止会像肥皂剧里的家伙一样。
19.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
如果我们说的话有两个理解方式，并且其中的一种会让你生气或者伤心，那么其实我们的意思是另外一种。
20.Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
让我们看看美女吧.如果我们不看别的女人,又怎么能意识到你有多美呢?
21.Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
如果你不想看到灯神跳出来,就不要去擦灯。
22.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both.
你可以叫我们去做一件事情，或者你可以告诉我们你想要我们怎么做，二者请只选其一。
23.Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
克里斯托弗 哥伦布并不需要方向,就像我们不需要指导一样.
24.You have enough clothes.
你的衣服已经够多了.
25.Nothing says "I love you" like sex.
没有什么比性更能表达“我爱你”了
26.Birthdays, Valentine's, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, again!
我再说一遍，生日、情人节、纪念日，这些日子都不是用来试探我们能不能买到完美的礼物的！
27.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
如果你问了一个你不期望得到回答的问题，你就要做好得到你不想要的答案的准备。
28.You have enough clothes.
你的衣服真的已经够多了！
29.Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
哭泣是一种勒索行为，只能在必要的时候使用，但是不要以为我们会喜欢。
30.Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad is probably an idiot, too.
你的兄弟是一个白痴，还有你的前男友，你的爸爸也很有可能是。
31.Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
同11
32.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
同14
33.A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
同15
34.Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
你的妈妈没有必要成为我们的朋友。
35.Foreign film are best left to foreigners.
外国电影最好还是让外国人看吧。
36.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
请在所有别的时间把你必须要在比赛播出时说的所有话说完。
37.Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
高尔夫是一个可以离开你喘口气的休闲机会。我们真的需要这个，就像你也需要一样。
38.Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
诋毁男性杂志上的女模特让你看起来小气又爱嫉妒，而且无论如何也不可能让我们不看这样的杂志。（俺不知道airbrushed是什么意思）
39.The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
一段恋情永远都不可能保持我们刚刚开始约会的前两个月的状态。
40.Anyone can buy condoms.
买避东篱把酒黄昏后孕套不只是男性的义务。
